A new year

Happy New Year, everybody!

New Year’s is my favorite holiday – because it represents letting go of the old stuff and letting in the new.

It’s a powerful time of release and of positive change.

If you will allow me…  just a few thoughts on change…

Imagine, if you will, if in this new year, each of us made it our goal simply to be kind.

To be kind to ourselves and to be kind to others.

What would that world look like?

We tend to think that our good comes from getting – getting our way, getting enough money, getting others to behave the way we want them to.

But when we grab, things elude us.

You know how it is when someone wants you to do something. You resist. You push away. You dig in your heels.

So that’s what others do when we make demands on them.

But there’s a subtle shift when we quit grabbing at things.

And it’s hard to make that shift, because we’ve been told all of our lives that the world won’t give us things, that we have to go out there and take them.

This past year, I’ve found the opposite to be true.

The trick is in extending ourselves, extending love, extending good will, extending kindness.

When we give good things, good things come to us.

When we give, there’s a shift in our energy.

When we give, we open our minds and our hearts, and that is what allows the good to come in.

We don’t make good things happen, we allow them to happen.

And the good comes in, often from unexpected sources, in unexpected ways, seeping in at first, and then flowing so much we can barely contain it.

I’ve been astounded at the people who have become allies this year, the people who have appeared from seemingly nowhere to help me out in ways I never could have imagined.

And it all came from a slight shift of energy, to extending myself, to being open.

But there’s a catch: giving starts, first and foremost, with giving to yourself.

We think, at first, of course I’ll give to myself because I am already on my side.

But we aren’t on our own sides, really, are we?

We are so wickedly hard on ourselves.

Sure, we’ve made mistakes, everyone does. But we punish ourselves relentlessly for our errors, our shortcomings. We feel guilty. And to top it off, we think that feeling guilty is helpful.

So, in our heads, we punish ourselves. We can’t and won’t give ourselves a break.

Change starts with forgiveness.

With forgiving ourselves.

Forgiving ourselves all of those rotten things we’ve done.

Forgiving ourselves for thinking that we are less than we truly are.

Our minds are incredibly powerful.

We think the world operates out there, but change begins in our minds.

It begins with being kind to ourselves, to saying ‘yes I’ve made mistakes, but it’s time to let them go.’

It begins with being your own best friend.

It begins with loving ourselves, trusting ourselves, being open to the wisdom of the universe, to surrendering all that we have in order to become more.

When we start forgiving ourselves, and it is a process, the world begins to open up, like a flower opening a little bit at a time.

When we begin to like ourselves, to love ourselves, then other people begin to show up for us, too.

Once we’ve begun to ‘purify’ ourselves, to let go of the gunk in our lives, to treat our own selves well, we are, naturally more loving and more lovable.

We are more fun to be around. We like ourselves again.

Our lives become more creative, more exciting.

And another paradox comes into play.

When we let go of ‘the way things are supposed to be’, better options appear. Things we couldn’t have foreseen.

All change begins in our heads.

When we forgive ourselves, like ourselves, love ourselves, we radiate that.

Others pick up on the positive energy.

You’ve felt that positive energy in others, haven’t you?

You know who’s approachable and who is not.

If there were a line-up of people, you would know just from the expressions on their faces, their body language, their demeanor, who you would want to help out.

By looking at them, we can tell who values themselves and who doesn’t.

People can tell that by looking at us, too.

When we love ourselves, value ourselves, it shows.

When we give, we receive.

If we project bad energy, we receive bad energy back.

When we extend good energy, we receive good energy back.

Simple as that.

The choice is ours.

We have the power in every moment to change our lives.

And it begins with loving ourselves more, with treating ourselves better.

When we have that for ourselves, we can give it away.

When we give it away, the world rolls out the red carpet.

In this next year, there will be hard times for each of us, that’s a given, but we also know that these hard times come to pass. They come. To pass. These are times for us to stand in our strength. And after the hard times fade away, we will see how we have grown.

Welcome the new year. Happy 2011!

My friends, I wish nothing but the very best for you.

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